The entrapments of romantic love: living with the realities of domestic violence

This workshop explores the powerful and concerning impact of romantic love discourses for women being subject to intimate partner violence. Romantic love prescribes the rules for love in heterosexual intimate relationships; a private affair between two individuals with women being held responsible for private care. The discourse of romantic love is successful because there is power and status to being ‘in relationship’, yet it is flawed and problematic because romantic love often involves conflicts and disappointments, break-ups and pain, breaches of trust, and hurt, control and violation.

How we think of romantic love impacts on how we work with women who live with a violent partner, or who leave a domestic violence relationship and how we work with women who are trying to make sense of their multiple experiences of sadness, relief, pain and love.

The workshop will explore some of the following questions:

• With the ideal that “love will conquer all” and “till death do us part” - what does it mean for women?

• How does the discourse and idea of romantic love impact on how we and women and victim survivors make sense of their pain, their hopes, their grief?

• For the context of domestic violence, what differences are made by thinking about romantic love as an important discourse in our lives?

• What are the intended, and unintended, consequences of the discourse of romantic love for women who leave domestic violence?